Comments on: How to Kick Out a Player and Respect Yourself in the Morning http://www.treasuretables.org/2005/12/how-to-kick-out-a-player-and-respect-yourself-in-the-morning Game mastering advice, ideas & resources • Dedicated to helping GMs Thu, 10 Nov 2011 17:04:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: GilaMonster http://www.treasuretables.org/2005/12/how-to-kick-out-a-player-and-respect-yourself-in-the-morning/comment-page-1#comment-1271 GilaMonster Tue, 03 Jan 2006 20:29:26 +0000 http://www.treasuretables.org/?p=152#comment-1271 Martin: Thanks, I appreciate the offer. Next game is tentativly scheduled for the 22nd, so will see how things go Martin: Thanks, I appreciate the offer.
Next game is tentativly scheduled for the 22nd, so will see how things go

]]> By: Martin http://www.treasuretables.org/2005/12/how-to-kick-out-a-player-and-respect-yourself-in-the-morning/comment-page-1#comment-1266 Martin Tue, 03 Jan 2006 18:15:38 +0000 http://www.treasuretables.org/?p=152#comment-1266 (Frank) <i>As to making it seem like the players idea to leave - where this is good is if it comes out of the direct discussion.</i> Excellent point -- I was coming at it from the avoidance angle, and hadn't thought of it this way. (Frank) As to making it seem like the players idea to leave – where this is good is if it comes out of the direct discussion.

Excellent point — I was coming at it from the avoidance angle, and hadn’t thought of it this way.

]]> By: Frank Filz http://www.treasuretables.org/2005/12/how-to-kick-out-a-player-and-respect-yourself-in-the-morning/comment-page-1#comment-1265 Frank Filz Tue, 03 Jan 2006 17:31:11 +0000 http://www.treasuretables.org/?p=152#comment-1265 On kicking a GM out, or at least telling him the group doesn't want to play anymore - that's a much easier task, especially if the GM is still fun as a player. Chances are the GM has realized the game sucks anyway, and may be happy for the out. As to making it seem like the players idea to leave - where this is good is if it comes out of the direct discussion. If you start the discussion with "You seem to be unhappy with my game, and seem to want more of X or less of Y, perhaps you would find another game more appealing." and the player jumps on that, then you're in good shape. Such a parting can be very healthy because the GM has validated the player. Frank On kicking a GM out, or at least telling him the group doesn’t want to play anymore – that’s a much easier task, especially if the GM is still fun as a player. Chances are the GM has realized the game sucks anyway, and may be happy for the out.

As to making it seem like the players idea to leave – where this is good is if it comes out of the direct discussion. If you start the discussion with “You seem to be unhappy with my game, and seem to want more of X or less of Y, perhaps you would find another game more appealing.” and the player jumps on that, then you’re in good shape. Such a parting can be very healthy because the GM has validated the player.

Frank

]]> By: Martin http://www.treasuretables.org/2005/12/how-to-kick-out-a-player-and-respect-yourself-in-the-morning/comment-page-1#comment-1229 Martin Sun, 01 Jan 2006 17:15:29 +0000 http://www.treasuretables.org/?p=152#comment-1229 GilaMonster: If you need any help or feedback, feel free to drop back in and ask for it in the comments. You can also <a href="http://www.treasuretables.org/contact-info" rel="nofollow">email me directly</a>, and I'd be happy to make suggestions over email. Good luck! GilaMonster: If you need any help or feedback, feel free to drop back in and ask for it in the comments. You can also email me directly, and I’d be happy to make suggestions over email.

Good luck!

]]> By: GilaMonster http://www.treasuretables.org/2005/12/how-to-kick-out-a-player-and-respect-yourself-in-the-morning/comment-page-1#comment-1218 GilaMonster Sun, 01 Jan 2006 10:10:03 +0000 http://www.treasuretables.org/?p=152#comment-1218 Thanks , this is useful. I'm faced with the possibility of kicking a player out of my d20 Modern game. I invited him at the urging of one of my other players. Mistake. I didn't know him at all. The two sessions he played in nearly turned into a pitched battle between him and another player. Hopefully the talk to him step will work. Thanks , this is useful. I’m faced with the possibility of kicking a player out of my d20 Modern game.

I invited him at the urging of one of my other players. Mistake. I didn’t know him at all.

The two sessions he played in nearly turned into a pitched battle between him and another player.

Hopefully the talk to him step will work.

]]> By: Martin http://www.treasuretables.org/2005/12/how-to-kick-out-a-player-and-respect-yourself-in-the-morning/comment-page-1#comment-1211 Martin Sun, 01 Jan 2006 00:18:47 +0000 http://www.treasuretables.org/?p=152#comment-1211 Argos: That sounds like it'd be skirting very close to the passive-agressive line -- why not just be open about it? Argos: That sounds like it’d be skirting very close to the passive-agressive line — why not just be open about it?

]]> By: Argos http://www.treasuretables.org/2005/12/how-to-kick-out-a-player-and-respect-yourself-in-the-morning/comment-page-1#comment-1207 Argos Fri, 30 Dec 2005 18:01:00 +0000 http://www.treasuretables.org/?p=152#comment-1207 Not sure if you'll respect yourself, but one way to do this is to make it seem to be the player's idea. That way, they're leaving, you're not kicking them out, or at least it will seem mutual. Not sure if you’ll respect yourself, but one way to do this is to make it seem to be the player’s idea. That way, they’re leaving, you’re not kicking them out, or at least it will seem mutual.

]]> By: Martin http://www.treasuretables.org/2005/12/how-to-kick-out-a-player-and-respect-yourself-in-the-morning/comment-page-1#comment-1201 Martin Thu, 29 Dec 2005 20:01:19 +0000 http://www.treasuretables.org/?p=152#comment-1201 Judas: It's definitely a tangent, but it's an interesting one. I've never run into this precise situation before. The closest I've come is: a) the game is terrible and the GM knows it as well, in which case it ends pretty quickly, and b) the nascent group realizes the GM is crazy and backs out before the game begins. I can't think of a way to spin your topic to fit the "for GMs" aspect of TT, but I'd love to see someone tackle it on another blog/forum. I don't mean that as a brush-off -- not at all! -- and if there's an angle I'm missing, I'm open to suggestions. :) Judas: It’s definitely a tangent, but it’s an interesting one.

I’ve never run into this precise situation before. The closest I’ve come is: a) the game is terrible and the GM knows it as well, in which case it ends pretty quickly, and b) the nascent group realizes the GM is crazy and backs out before the game begins.

I can’t think of a way to spin your topic to fit the “for GMs” aspect of TT, but I’d love to see someone tackle it on another blog/forum. I don’t mean that as a brush-off — not at all! — and if there’s an angle I’m missing, I’m open to suggestions. :)

]]> By: Judas http://www.treasuretables.org/2005/12/how-to-kick-out-a-player-and-respect-yourself-in-the-morning/comment-page-1#comment-1192 Judas Wed, 28 Dec 2005 16:13:21 +0000 http://www.treasuretables.org/?p=152#comment-1192 A thought for Martin: Have you thought of the reverse situation as a possible subject? Suppose the following: There is a group of tight-knit players and GM/DMs, playing together for years. One of the people who has been a player for many, many years decides to DM again. The game kicks off and...it stinks. Not due to a personality conflict, but the game is sub par in every way, from the "going nowhere plot" to the lifeless "2D" NPCs. Sadly, the players try to rise to the occasions and put forth some of the best playing efforts seen in an age, yet this fails to inspire the DM. The players agree that the game needs to end but are unsure how. The question being: How does one unload the DM who is a friend? I apologize for possibly taking this thread in the wrong direction. It's just an idea inspired by it. A thought for Martin: Have you thought of the reverse situation as a possible subject?

Suppose the following: There is a group of tight-knit players and GM/DMs, playing together for years. One of the people who has been a player for many, many years decides to DM again. The game kicks off and…it stinks. Not due to a personality conflict, but the game is sub par in every way, from the “going nowhere plot” to the lifeless “2D” NPCs. Sadly, the players try to rise to the occasions and put forth some of the best playing efforts seen in an age, yet this fails to inspire the DM. The players agree that the game needs to end but are unsure how. The question being: How does one unload the DM who is a friend?

I apologize for possibly taking this thread in the wrong direction. It’s just an idea inspired by it.

]]> By: Martin http://www.treasuretables.org/2005/12/how-to-kick-out-a-player-and-respect-yourself-in-the-morning/comment-page-1#comment-1189 Martin Wed, 28 Dec 2005 04:29:47 +0000 http://www.treasuretables.org/?p=152#comment-1189 (Obadiah) <i>But what happens when the DM/ GM explains to the rest of the players and half side with Player who needs to be kicked out? Of course the Player is going to talk/ e-mail/ blog with the rest of the group. When a “Civil War” in the group emerges what happens?</i> Having not run into this, I don't know. Can anyone who has answer Obadiah's (excellent) question? Streamweaver: Interesting! Thanks for expanding on that. :) (Obadiah) But what happens when the DM/ GM explains to the rest of the players and half side with Player who needs to be kicked out? Of course the Player is going to talk/ e-mail/ blog with the rest of the group. When a “Civil War” in the group emerges what happens?

Having not run into this, I don’t know. Can anyone who has answer Obadiah’s (excellent) question?

Streamweaver: Interesting! Thanks for expanding on that. :)

]]> By: Streamweaver http://www.treasuretables.org/2005/12/how-to-kick-out-a-player-and-respect-yourself-in-the-morning/comment-page-1#comment-1181 Streamweaver Tue, 27 Dec 2005 20:08:40 +0000 http://www.treasuretables.org/?p=152#comment-1181 <i>I can’t say that I’ve ever seen this same correlation in mixed gender groups that I’ve gamed with. Have you seen differences in this regard between your current group and previous (mostly male, presumably) groups?</i> I've seen a large difference groups of female players deal with unwanted players as oppose to groups of male players. Player groups with mostly men tend to a bit more aggressive about getting an annoying player out of the game. They complain and even tend to urge me to boot them. When I've had large numbers of women in a group it's been different for me, they definitly seem more concerned with hurt feelings and such. It's not always this way or a hard and fast rule but over 25+ years of gaming this has been the general trend. I can’t say that I’ve ever seen this same correlation in mixed gender groups that I’ve gamed with. Have you seen differences in this regard between your current group and previous (mostly male, presumably) groups?

I’ve seen a large difference groups of female players deal with unwanted players as oppose to groups of male players.

Player groups with mostly men tend to a bit more aggressive about getting an annoying player out of the game. They complain and even tend to urge me to boot them. When I’ve had large numbers of women in a group it’s been different for me, they definitly seem more concerned with hurt feelings and such. It’s not always this way or a hard and fast rule but over 25+ years of gaming this has been the general trend.

]]> By: Obadiah Jib http://www.treasuretables.org/2005/12/how-to-kick-out-a-player-and-respect-yourself-in-the-morning/comment-page-1#comment-1180 Obadiah Jib Tue, 27 Dec 2005 19:30:50 +0000 http://www.treasuretables.org/?p=152#comment-1180 Great set of rules for player conflict. But what happens when the DM/ GM explains to the rest of the players and half side with Player who needs to be kicked out? Of course the Player is going to talk/ e-mail/ blog with the rest of the group. When a "Civil War" in the group emerges what happens? Great set of rules for player conflict.

But what happens when the DM/ GM explains to the rest of the players and half side with Player who needs to be kicked out? Of course the Player is going to talk/ e-mail/ blog with the rest of the group. When a “Civil War” in the group emerges what happens?

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